Pricing
Pick the plan you’ll regret quarterly.
All plans include unlimited notes, unlimited regret, and the satisfaction of having paid for software.
Hobbyist
For one person who keeps saying they’ll ‘maybe start a podcast’
$49/ month
- ✓Up to 3 videos
- ✓Comments are real, drawings are blurry
- ✓Reply emails arrive in 4–6 business days
- ✓Customer support via shrugged shoulders
Studio
For teams who Slack each other ‘done’ without saying what was done
$899/ seat / month
- ✓Unlimited videos, mostly
- ✓Drawings render at the original frame rate of your camera
- ✓A “client mode” that just hides the bad takes
- ✓A dedicated account person who responds to one (1) email per quarter
- ✓Roles: Viewer, Commenter, Editor, Manager, “Did Not Read”
Enterprise: Cinematic Universe
For Fortune 500s, oil heirs, and one weird LinkedIn influencer named Tad
$67,000/ month
- ✓Single-tenant cloud, single-tenant ego
- ✓AI that writes the note FOR you and signs it “the team”
- ✓A leather-bound copy of all your comments, mailed quarterly
- ✓A dedicated note-leaver named Pamela. Pamela does not exist.
- ✓Compliance with SOC 2, HIPAA, and the Geneva Convention
- ✓On-site executive briefings (we will fly to your office and read your notes back to you)
- ✓24/7 support — but only by fax
- ✓Integration with three (3) calendar systems your CTO will not let us name
Frequently asked questions
Are these prices real?
No. The product is free right now. We will figure out money when somebody complains we should figure out money.
Can I get a discount?
Yes. The discount is “the entire price.” It is currently zero dollars.
What happens if I click “Acquire Alan”?
You go to the sign-in page like everyone else. The button is decorative. Like a “Push” door that pulls.
Is Pamela real?
No. Stop asking.